I am sorry I have been MIA since Saturday, but to be honest I have just been in a s**t mood. I am going to talk to you about how I have been feeling lately, as well as the positive side of life as well as a DIY positivity box to keep you happy and on track.
Update:
I wanted to do a blog post about dealing with bad news because this kind of ties in to this post a bit. But to be honest with you I have been in a difficult place for a few years now and everything is having a knock on effect, it started back in April 2014, when my dog Charlie passed away, he was literally my brother, I thought the world of him and he was my go to person to 'talk' to I loved him a lot. Since we lost him I have been the worst at letting thins out and talking to people about my feelings, because I have lost my brother I haven't spoken to many people about my feelings, this is because I find it hard to trust someone, as well as opening up to people, I am just someone who keeps things bottled up because no one truly understands how I am feeling apart from myself.
Then everything has gone down hill since April 2014, to start with my nan hasn't been very well last year she had to have an operation, then this year (April 2015) she had a stroke which turned into blood clots as well, then we found out she has Cancer. This was hard to except and devastating for the whole family. Then my auntie was diagnosed with cancer, then we found out last week that my nan's cancer had spread. This is just heart breaking for many reasons as you may be able to understand, this couldn't have came at a better year obviously, but this year was probably the worst year.
As you may know I was sitting my GCSE's which was a struggle in it's self but I was having to deal with the one year anniversary of Charlie's passing, as well as dealing with all of this with my family. It made it much stressful for me and made it difficult to concentrate during revision, exams as well as at home. I wanted to spend all my time at the hospital but I was having to go to school because my exams were getting closer every day. This doesn't seem too much when typing it all out, but for me it was too much to deal with all at once, especially keeping it all to myself letting it build up. Also dealing with Anxiety and panic attacks at the same time wasn't making the situation any easier, when I was in exams and lessons I felt anxious and felt as if I was panicking about everything.
It still isn't getting any easier, I keep saying to myself 'Why me?, why is it all at once?'. The thing is their is a lot more that I am not sharing with you or that I haven't shared with anyone, this is part and parcel of me bottling everything up, which isn't healthy I know...
To stay positive:
Staying positive at these times are the only thing you can do, and to stop making it worse I have made a box of positivity which is so simple, but it can cheer you up when your feeling down.
This is my box which was from Weymouth, it came with a bigger and smaller one which matches. In this box I simply wrote down meaningful quotes and song lyrics on some post it notes which are inspiring, motivational and positive. This is great to come back to now and then when your feeling a bit down, this can lift your spirits a lot. I also think it would be a cute idea to write down happy memories as well as adding picture of things that make you happy.
Results day:
I also wanted to mention that on Thursday is results day for my GCSE exams, I am nervous, scared, excited and relieved. Last year I done a year 10 results where I talked to you about how I was feeling before my results, what I am hoping for etc, then I shared my results with and my my thoughts after. So I am going to do the same this year, which will be up Thursday about 12 ish.
Stay tuned for Thursday...
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