Thursday, 28 April 2016

Coping with the lose of your pet

Hello everyone,

Two years later and I think I am ready to do this blog post for you, today it has been two years since we lost our family dog Charlie. I done the furry friend tag (here) featuring him, but today I wanted to talk to you about dealing with losing your pet because it's not easy.

Wether you have lost a dog, cat, rabbit or any pet for that matter it is never going to be easy. I grew up with Charlie and he was honestly like a brother to me, because I am a only child I never really had that person to 'talk to' but to me Charlie was that person, even though he couldn't speak back. He was like my comfort blanket, and I remember when ever I was stressed or crying I would hug him and feel instantly 10 times better. The thing with dogs is that they can sense when someone is hurt to upset, and for me Charlie always knew! If you didn't know we had to put Charlie down because he was in a  lot of pain when he got older, he has hip dysplasia in his back legs so seeing his health deteriorate was horrible to the point where he struggled to go up and down the stairs. For us the date Charlie passed away would never be easy at all, but he passed away the day after my mum's birthday which is never going to be the same for her again and makes it a little more difficult.

Dealing with loss in general is hard, but the thing to remember is that it's ok to be sad and to accept that your heart broken. Don't think that it's not okay to cry, because it is. Showing you emotion isn't something you should be embarrassed about, it helps to show your emotion but no one is expecting you to hold in your tears because it's not an easy time. Also you shouldn't feel guilty about any of the choice you have made, for instance we decided to put Charlie down, but you shouldn't feel guilty because you had that overall choice and made that decision. But the thing is to remember the saying 'it's cruel to be kind', this sounds horrible but if they are in made your being more cruel to the pet keeping them alive, instead of putting them out of that pain.

The grieving process of losing anyone and for losing a pet takes a lot of time, there are time that make my family and I think that we still aren't over the loss of our beloved dog. I have to be honest two years later, and it hasn't got easier and it's the hardest thing that I have had to go through. Also two years later and we still have Charlie's ashes, we haven't spread them because we just aren't ready. Also don't rush in getting a new pet to replace that feeling of loss, because it's not going to make the feeling any easier, we haven't got a dog yet because we haven't feel ready and it's still not going to be easy introducing a new dog into where Charlie lived for years and years. 

One of the best things you can do once you've lost your pet is to remember them, looking back at old photos is something to help you remember the "positives" to your decision, photos are nice to keep and they hold a lot of personal and sentimental value. Maybe creating a book filled with memories and photos of your pet, will be something to look back on in the future to help to remember your pet. Once you have lost your pet don't think that you have to forget about them and act like you didn't have a pet, talking about this helps so surround yourself with the people who support and are there for you throughout this hard time.

Also keeping your dogs toys and prized possessions can help a lot, for example this teddy that is shown in the picture is what I brought Charlie as an ester present a few weeks before he passed away, and I am looking at this teddy as I am writing this. We still have his lead and I keep his blanket in my room, having the little things around your house and space can help you to remember your pet by. When I went to Swanage a few years ago I brought a letter C to put in my room when we had Charlie, and we still have it to this date for memories.

This is the blanket that I have kept in my room and not washed since we had Charlie, because it still have memories and his scent on it.

Remember that you can get through this and their is light at the end of the tunnel even if it seems out of sight. This is something that my friend drew for me as one of my mum's birthday presents, we have this in our living room and is another memorial type thing have for him. Having little possessions made in memory for your pet is a nice feeling, to know they are still being remembered by their family and in the space where your pet was.

R.I.P Charlie 

If any of you have lost a pet, my heart goes out to you and your family, feel free to message me if you want to talk to me about it.

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